All posts by Angela Gray

2020 Spirit of Christmas

by Angela & Dennis Gray
December 2020

Christmas is considered to be “The most wonderful time of the year!” however for the over 4,000 homeless children in Charlotte it may not feel like that to them.  The Spirit of Christmas is an event that provides shoes, coats, books, toys and goodies to homeless children so they too can experience the joy of the holiday season while making sure some of their basic needs are met.  We aim to feed mind, body and soul to some of Charlotte’s most vulnerable residents.

We have participated in the Spirit of Christmas since its inception and asked R.I.C.’s to help provide healthy snacks several years ago.  For the last decade our gingerbread station has serviced between 6,000 – 10,000 children in addition to their parents/guardians and volunteers. The saddest child, lights up at just the sight of our station, grinning from ear to ear as they learn that they get to choose whatever they like from a table filled with all kinds of goodies.  Every year has been a different theme but has included a beautifully decorated gingerbread house, all types of candies, cakes, cookies, applesauce cups, cheese sticks, granola bars, etc. 

Because we expect the need to be much larger this year due to the higher unemployment numbers and other effects of COVID 19; we will be using #GivingTuesdayCLT to raise money to meet the greater need.  Also because of restrictions due to the pandemic, we will experience major changes to what we are able to do this year.  So, we will only be able to distribute things that have been prepackaged and since we can’t make a gingerbread house, we will include a kit that will allow the kids to make their own miniature gingerbread house using graham crackers.  Additionally, we also want to include a $10 grocery card to each child to help families purchase food for the holiday season.  Finally, we also want to continue to include healthier snacks like fruit cups, applesauce cups, etc. along with other traditional treats.

I remember as a kid the first time I heard the phrase, “it is more blessed to give than to receive” and thinking that they must have said that backwards because it’s better to get things, right?  However, overtime the meaning has become clearer; it truly is a blessing to have what you need and even more so when you can share what you have with others. We hope that as we prepare to celebrate the end of 2020, a year that has seen too much loss, you will consider those not as fortunate and be a blessing by giving your time, talents or resources to others.

So, until #GivingTuesday, which is December 1st, we will be posting pictures and videos of edible Christmas creations and we are asking you to post your own and use #2020SOCChallenge.  You can help by making a donation on our site, $5 will cover the cost of the graham cracker house, $10 the cost of a grocery card gift card, $20 a box for 1 homeless child or $200 boxes for 10 homeless children.  We hope that you will help us spread the Spirit of Christmas this year!! 

For more information about the challenge, go to https://www.ricsmarket.org/2020socchallenge

You Lied

by Angela Gray
November 2020

US Representative Joe Wilson shouted, “You Lied” at former President Obama on national tv in 2009.  That statement has continued to come to mind in recent weeks as our country once again publicly grieves the loss of black lives at the hands of law enforcement.  I did not get in trouble much growing up but saying, “you lied” to my mother, was a no-no.  She said growing up, she was taught that no matter how much was taken away from blacks, our character was something that could not be stolen however it could be damaged; so to call someone a liar, called their character into question and was something you just did not do lightly.  To tell a lie means that you intentionally deceived someone; that was something neither God nor my mother tolerated and it seemed my mother delivered her punishment much swifter than God did.  So, even today, that statement still triggers a strong, visceral reaction. 

As I struggled with why that statement kept popping in to my head, I finally realized it was not just a one-time event where a congressman shouted, “You lied” but an entire country saying it every time it has been questioned whether “Black Lives Matter”.  Throughout this country’s history, in word and deed, we have been told again and again we lied.  We said that we were human beings, nope, you lied the constitution says, only 3/5.  We said if “…all men are created equal” you cannot own us and our children however, we lied because even after the eventual abolishment of slavery; citizens are still marching in the streets for equality. Again, we were told we lied, when we said that we could not raise above the levels of poverty we exited slavery in when denied the same opportunities en masse as our counterparts.  We must be lying when we complain about being exploited as prison laborers and/or low wage essential workers and question why we are disproportionally represented in these fields. When blacks prematurely die at higher rates from things such as giving birth, being born, hypertension, diabetes and COVID-19, we must still be lying because the cycle continues and nothing is done.  We said, it is not ok to incarcerate innocent men & women for decades or worse execute them because of the color of their skin, or just skip the entire legal system and allow police officers to execute blacks at will, but once again, despite decades of stories and now videos, America keeps saying, “You lied” because despite protests and appeals, it is still happening.  We continue to hear it at the highest levels, “you lied’, law enforcement is great, it just had one bad apple; which is easy to say, when you are not the one living in fear of your life.  I know you should never generalize but I believe it is fair to say that it has taken the release of the video of George Floyd being murdered to finally get a majority of Americans to acknowledge that maybe Blacks have not lied when we question if black lives matter? 

As we try to move on, I hear the call for open dialogue about our country’s past and our current race relations.  I agree much dialogue is needed but question its effectiveness until we as a country acknowledge that instead of shouting “You lied”, we need to be shouting “Amen”.   Until we can admit that the lies being told have been that “…all men are created equal” and that “all lives matter” and not “we cannot breathe” or “Black Lives Matter”; until that happens the dialogue will be no more than just hot air that quickly evaporates and we return to the same place the majority is comfortable in.  When people refuse to say “Black Lives Matter” but instead say, “All Lives Matter” I don’t want to call their character into question but I hope they do realize most of them are lying.  In order to truly say “All Lives Matter” means that you would have to practice the strictest form of veganism and be anti-abortion, anti-death penalty, anti-police, anti-military, anti-2nd amendment, anti-self-defense, anti-exterminators, need I continue?   So, before we start those difficult conversations, we have to be able to objectively examine our nation’s past and stop victim blaming.  You cannot empathize with the plight of blacks if you don’t believe what we say.  This nation first must acknowledge that our biases and prejudices are steeped in a long history of bigotry and mistrust before true open dialogue can begin.

As the chairman of a small nonprofit that has been working to open a grocery store in a low-income area for the last 5 years; it has been heartbreaking to watch issues that have always existed being magnified now because they are extending beyond areas mostly comprised of black & brown residents.  I do not understand how people are ok with kids only getting meals at school and using that as a justification to why schools need to be re-opened?  We have known that children were only eating at school for generations but where has the outrage been and is this really acceptable?  People were mortified to walk into grocery stores and not find staples like milk, bread or toilet paper but where has the horror been for those that have not had a grocery store in their neighborhood for decades?  I cannot help but think that if I were a white man the outcome of my efforts would have been very different and my potential to change the world limitless.  But once again, I must be the liar because we live in a world where systematic and institutional racism does not exist; at least according to the President of the United States and several of his cabinet members (along with many other Americans) so my failures must lay solely on me, right?  Despite overcoming so many needless obstacles because of my gender and race, I cannot begin to express the frustration that I and many others face not because of our abilities, work effort or even love for this country but simply because we don’t matter.  One of the saddest things is the realization of how much we have missed out on as a nation by only uplifting a small percentage of our citizens.  All lives cannot matter when blacks continue to be denied access to healthcare, education, healthy food, jobs, capital, voting rights, housing, etc. nor as long as corporate and government funds are used to keep certain people down while enriching the lives of a few. How can we be “great again”, when we never invested in all of our people?  How many solutions to problems have been missed because we decided who was worthy of basic human needs? What has the true economic cost to this country been because we allowed fear of “those people” getting what our fathers gave us (even though we know it was stolen goods) to keep us from realizing the true economic potential of this great country.   We cannot continue raising future generations that don’t know the sins of our past because the truth makes us feel uncomfortable and change is too hard.  It’s great for large corporations to say they support “Black Lives” and give large donations today but what happens next week, next month, next year?  My entire life, I have seen over and over again, an event occurs, we say we need change but we eventually end up right back where we started.  I agree that this time feels different, but that is not enough, we have to make sure that this time is different otherwise once again, “We lied” and nothing will change!